I’m losing the fight to keep it together
Battle scarred, weary, my mind feels like leather
I have done my best to find the reserve but
I lost that this week, going around that curve
My latest entry in my log of shame….
I’m fucking used to that though, it’s always the same
that feeling that punches me as soon as I wake
and never lets up until I inebriate
and that’s been my only defense for so many years
putting stuff in me to kill all my fears
and stop fucking tears…..
fuck tears, I don’t want to cry
and I had to stop asking why
so long ago…because I know
I was born in this world to lose everything
It’s like that for some of us, though…only a sad song to sing….
I really did try that positivity thing
but it’s not helping me fake it anymore
Then I think to myself, what’s left in this store?
There’s nothing…the shelves are all bare
so is my head when I lose all my hair
from the raging sadness which never does cease
Only fleeting moments of “peace”….
I’ll never fulfill the terms on this lease
I want to die now.
I wanna go.
I don’t want to be here, there or anywhere