After four years I changed the background, the fonts, the size of the fonts, the arrangement of the pages of this blog and….eh…idk.
I’m probably gonna change it back.
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sarcasm
Billy McMannot
Billy McMannot can be such a piss.
His stubbornness is fluent, he rarely does miss.
I thought we just met but it seems not the case.
Turns out Billy and I have been sharing same space.
Gotta give it to the lad, it took me six years to realize how glad
I would become at a boy who made me so mad the whole while just impersonating a man.
It is 3:48 a.m. on a weekend morning. I’m not sure if it’s Sunday or Monday but it doesn’t really matter because every day is Sunday or MOnday to me.
For the past couple of months I have been in a stupendous depression. I am not really sure what caused it but I suppose about two or three variables that could be involved.
Me and him have not spoken all week. I’m sure to hear it told to one of his buddies out of his own mouth it would sound like chinese to me. None of it would be intelligible, that is unless I spoke Mandarin or Cantonese….and you never know, one of those is on my bucket list.
I had my first sip of drink in over a week earlier this evening. I say “this evening” but I think the sip which was granted to me as a full-fledged DRINK was poured after midnight.
I ain’t drunk.
I ain’t buzzed.
Nothing.
it’s 4:10 a.m. now.
I am not mad about being ignored. I never was. I did nothing to be ignored. The only thing I did was ask my partner of 6 years some questions about some weird shit on his bank statement and he made it into a whole thing so he could ignore me, I suppose.
I turned 42 this past Monday. I have had a pretty strong feeling for several years that life is going to change at 42. My birthday is 4-2. If you google forty-two, here’s what you find: PURE BADDASSERY You’ll also find THIS.
I’ve been so depressed since Christmas I haven’t cared much for hygiene, but on my birthday, since I was being ignored anyway, I took the first selfies I’ve taken in a hundred years.
Wanna see? I’m gonna show you anyway because clearly I’m sober.
I Got Your Hero…
There are few things in this world I absolutely I hate.
I should probably hate many more things than I do. Given my life experiences….A LOT.
I’ve been raped at least four times, one of those included a gang bang, and the last time I was raped, it was sodomy. I WAS ASS-RAPED.
I have been kidnapped twice, once by my father, when I eighteen months old, and once by a strung-out junkie when I was in my mid-twenties.
I have EVERY FUCKING REASON TO HATE….but I don’t.
I do, however, hate, with the fiery-hot passion of a thousand dying suns, PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVENESS AND SARCASM.
I especially hate sarcasm when it’s perpetrated by someone who makes a good show of being sweet-as-pie, because it is expected, or because they “have to”, but inside, they are seething with whatever it is inside their mind and heart, which produces sarcasm.
I do not know too much about sarcasm manufacturing, because I am usually never passive-aggressive, sarcastic, or facetious.
I say what I mean and I mean what I say. Period.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I can be passive-aggressive with the best of them….I just don’t like to operate in that fashion…It makes me feel like a lying coward with a pussy for a face.
Plus, everyone these days is sarcastic and I hate doing what everyone else does.
I AM a hero and I never was a zero…at least a zero in the way that sarcastic-ass, mean-ass human beings mean….I AM a zero in the sense of INFINITY and IMMORTALITY…but that’s it.
Being truthful makes for a very lonely life.
